Surprising Myself

Not sure how to start this blog, but suffice to say the Gauntlet at Cholmondeley Castle exceeded expectations.

As I said in my previous blog, this was a race I was going into with some fatigue and to be honest I was expecting a pretty slow painful day. The weekend started off really chilled and although feeling generally tired I felt OK and was looking forward to the race. Darren had told me to swim hard/bike hard and just take the run as it comes so in one way there wasn't really any pressure on my performance. Given that however, I still am a competitive animal and wanted to do the best I could.

I did a quick recce of the bike course on Saturday, legs felt rubbish and I just hoped that was because of the drive up to Cheshire rather than fatigue. It certainly was going to be an interesting race.

Woke on Sunday to a very pleasant morning and being right on the site it meant a very relaxed start to the day and unlike a few weeks back in Lough Cutra the lake was clear of any fog, it meant at least we were going to get a swim this week. The wind that had blown quite strongly over night had really eased as well it looked fair for quite a day.

I felt nice and chilled as I made my way to the lake and listened to the pre race briefing, again I think the lack of expectation really calmed my nerves. Briefing over and into the water, it was lovely and warm and I lined up with as straight a line up the lake as I could and just waited for the hooter.

Once off there was surprisingly a bit of biff for the first 50m or so, but after that it was pretty much clean sailing. The sighting of the buoys was easy and I just tried to follow the toes of faster swimmers. As this was going to be a 2 lap affair with an Australian exit I just tried to keep as near the front as possible. I had noticed that I seemed to be nearer the front of the pack that what I was used to and just tried to keep a nice smooth stroke going. It wasn't long before the end of the 1st lap, and after a twisty run back to the start pontoon I heard Brian Adcock shout 15th place to the guy in front of me and 2nd lady to the girl behind. Surely I can't be this high up I thought. Anyhow onto the 2nd lap and still following feet and still feeling really good. The lead swimmers had now got a gap however and I couldn't really gauge how I was doing. I decided to try and push up the effort for the final 300m to the swim exit and managed to get passed a couple of other swimmers. Out the water and run up a small hill to T1, noticed sub 34 mins on the watch and given the Aussie exit I was too displeased with that.

After a bit of a struggle getting the wetsuit off (1st race of the season with the wetsuit) I was off out onto the bike course. I didn't know what position I was in, but guessed top 15. As soon as I started pedaling however my legs just felt shot to pieces, this wasn't the plan. Darren had said go hard on the bike, yet I was struggling to produce normal power for a half ironman, this was going to be a real long day. After I felt I struggled with fueling at Lough Cutra I had decided to make sure I had plenty of sugary things on the bike, nothing like a big bag of Haribo to keep you going. For the first 20km of the bike I just tried to get as much Secret Training Energy drink down me and a fair few Haribo. I will admit though the speed still seemed there and I was passing a few of the faster swimmers. I got to the end of the first lap and to the cheers of the crowd in the castle grounds I saw that I had done around a 51 min lap. A quick calculation later realised that if I could maintain that it would still be a 2:30-2:40 bike time, which on this course isn't too shabby. My legs were feeling better now and although I still struggled to bike really hard at least I could maintain normal power better. 2nd lap done in 52 mins and I was feeling a bit more confident now. I eventually caught Neil Tandy and after a bit of cat and mouse up the hills I managed to get in front a few km's from the end of the bike. A decent bike of 2:37 in the end, considering how bad I felt at the start I'll take that.

Now it was the run, the bit I hadn't really been looking forward to, a quick change in T2 and nearly off out on the run with helmet (chopper). My legs actually felt OK, the normal 1st km wobblies but the pace was good. First km done in 4:30 which is what I have done for a standalone HM, the question now was how long can I keep this up for, Neil came back passed me around 2kms in and I did try and up my pace to stay with him but he slowly crept away. I just kept running at a pace I thought was sustainable, I just didn't know how long it would sustainable for. Towards the end of each lap there is a steep incline through the woods and even at the pace I was running it didn't feel too bad. The first lap done in sub 30 mins and I was feeling happy and my legs still felt fine. With more athletes from all distances on the course it was difficult to really tell if runners passing me were starting their first laps or had caught me. No point worrying I thought you can only go as fast as your legs will take you. I was expecting a bit of an implosion at some point but I still felt happy with the pace and even the 2nd time up the steep hill didn't worry me too much.

The 2nd lap was only 30 secs slower than the first, and now I felt confident that I could finish without too much of a problem, though I still expected to blow at some point. As I started the 3rd lap I could see I had caught Neil a bit, I decided to try and catch him and if it went wrong then at least I tried. I was closing in every so slightly with each km, but I think he had just enough in reserve to keep me at bay. Going up the hill for the 3rd time and the effort for the last few kms really told and my calf and hip flexors just started to cramp when pushing hard up the hill, I had to resort to a short walk, the race to beat Neil was over. Once at the top of the hill I managed to put in a good effort to the finish and happy to have run the last last only 12 secs slower than the 2nd lap. Neil finished 40 secs in front so well done to him on a great race.

Swim - around 34 mins, official timing got a bit messed up I think
Bike - 2:36:57
Run - 1:29:55

Total 4:43:17

5th Overall, 1st V40

This really was a performance that surprised me, I was a bit gobsmacked when told I had finished 5th overall, and even more so with how I ran. I have only done 3 proper half ironman events and this was by far the best performance I have put in at this distance. It really does show me how much Darren has done to turn me into a more complete triathlete.

Things to take away

1: Don't panic if the legs feel rubbish, just eat food instead
2: Don't try and do a HIM on energy drink alone
3: Never under estimate what you are capable of
4: Above all, trust in the training

Onwards to the Bastion in less than 2 weeks :-O, lets hope recovery goes well.

As usual big thanks to those that help me

Darren Jenkins - www.nevagivin.com/Darren_Jenkins.html
Secret Training - www.secret-training.com/
Go Resourcing - www.go-rg.com/
Hart & Co Resourcing - www.h-cr.co.uk/
Sundried - www.sundried.com
Castle Triathlon Series - www.castletriathlonseries.co.uk/

Cholmondeley Castle Gauntlet Preview

This weekend I head into my 2nd of the 5 Castle Triathlon Gauntlet races I will be doing this year, it is also the start of a bit of a hectic 5 weeks where I compete at 2 half ironman events with full ironman event in between. This is the part of the season I have always feared if I am honest as I am no spring chicken and the recovery process only gets slower with age.

Obviously I can't go into each as fresh as a daisy, fitness would just drop right off and impact later in the season. After a discussion with Darren about what to do, as the Bastion is the more important race, it was decided to race Cholmondeley Castle slightly tired. Now doing a sprint tri tired is one thing, but a half ironman !!!, I can't say it filled me with much joy but it is what it is. The plan of attack for the race did make me happy though, let's just see how that works out LOL.

With the ironman training fatigue I am not expecting a great race, I will still race hard but ultimately the eye is on the Bastion in just over 2 weeks time. Training has been going great, and after a little bit of a break in Ireland after Lough Cutra it was good to get back into the hard work.

I have never raced at Cholmondeley Castle, so I am looking forward to racing there, luckily I do know what Cheshire roads are like after spending many a week with work based near Crewe. The course doesn't look too hilly and it will be great to attack the bike leg on Sunday. Let's just hope the sun shines on us in Cheshire this weekend.

Lough Cutra Duathlon

After a week or more really looking forward to how my swimming in a race had improved (or not), those of us doing the Gauntlet would be thwarted by fog on race morning. Yes the swim had to be cancelled because the sighting buoys couldn't be sighted, even from land without googles obscuring the view.

The Castle Triathlon crew and Triathlon Ireland did try and get us a swim by delaying the start by over 2 hours in the end but that pesky fog just didn't want to clear and to be honest we had to start at some point as the delay to the Gauntlet was just delaying all the other races.

When Brian announced it was going to be a duathlon you could hear many groans and felt the disappointment of the athletes, that disappointed was shared by the organisors as well as I know they really wanted us to have a triathlon.

There is a lake there somewhere

The new format meant a 7km run, the 93km bike and then a 14km run to end, all in all not too bad, though the thought of a bike ride of that length after a hard run didn't feel me with much confidence. Instead of 2 swim waves, we were set off in 4 sub waves of each swim wave. This meant around 50-70 starters at each wave, a really good number to avoid overcrowding of the run and transition. I was due to start in the 2nd swim wave so had plenty of time to chat to friends and just chill. Eventually the time came and in all honesty not knowing who was in my AG or when they started it was just going to be a straight TT for the distance.

Run 1: This started well, we had had a huge downpour the previous evening and I thought the course might be a bit dodgy in places, and with using normal road shoes I thought it might be an interesting run to say the least. The conditions were actually quite good and it wasn't long before I got into a good decent run effort with me building the pace throughout the run, a decent (for me) 7km in 28 mins and I flew through transition and out onto the bike.

Bike: Knowing the course is a bit of a tough one, with grippy rough roads and a couple of challenging climbs I decided to do the first part at a hard effort and then ease off on the more rolling return to Lough Cutra. I was expecting my legs to feel the run effort but surprisingly I was happy rolling along at way over target power so it took a big effort to reign in my enthusiasm so that I didn't overdo the bike.

Some of the stunning scenery 

There felt like very little wind going out towards the midway point and I was happy overtaking athletes from the earlier waves and the speed felt good. I eventually passed another athlete from my AG, his number being one less than mine, but it had taken nearly 45km to do so. I just thought about how much faster he must have ran, or did he start in the wave before me, it was a bit of an unknown really. I felt great on the hills this year and with the lack of a headwind like last year I got to Corkscrew Hill feeling good and I felt great going up it. After reaching the top it is a fair few miles downhill and I used this time to recover and just try and keep the speed up. As we were now heading in a different direction I could feel the wind had got up, and it was now a bit of a cross headwind, that's why it felt good before.

Lough Bunny on the Route

Once to roads flattened off the wind was more noticeable and the earlier effort did start telling, though with the wind trying to slow things down it did mean keeping up the power to maintain the speed, and with the rolling roads some of the hills did slow you down a fair whack. Things were still going well and I felt much better than I have previously in a half ironman, a bit of a surprise given the run beforehand, but I was happy. After about 70km I did start experiencing some left leg weakness, and I think it is linked with the glute issue I have had previously. Although it wasn't pleasant it didn't hinder me too much and it did make me ease off a touch which in hindsight was probably a good thing.

2nd Run: After another swift transition it was out onto the run, legs felt rubbish and boy was it hot. It was now I realised that I should have taken on more fluid during the bike and I just felt so hot and dehydrated. After about 1 km my legs had settled down and I felt like I was running OK but it wasn't until about 2km in when I got to the 1st water station that some water and coke made me feel half decent. The running seemed to go well for the remainder of the lap but I walked the water stations to make sure I got fluid and coke in. 1st lap done and feeling even more ropey now, legs just don't want to push on, it wasn't long before the guy in my AG passed me on the run, at least I know he was obviously a faster runner now. With the last couple of kms to run I just tried to put in a good strong effort and get to the end.

Kilmacduagh Monastry just off the Route

I felt the 2nd run was rubbish, I just didn't seem to flow and I struggled a little in the heat. I don't know the reasons why the 2nd run felt terrible, my drop off in pace was only slightly worse than those finishing quicker than me. Perhaps that is just the nature of a duathlon, bike power was similar to last year and I felt so much better at the end of the bike compared to last year so although I might have overbiked at some points in the main I feel the bike wasn't overly hard. I do think I should have taken on more nutrition however, 2 bottles of energy drink for that sort of distance is pushing it a tad, but then again I am a bit of a novice at half ironman. That combined with the heat probably done it in for me.

Overall really happy though, really surprised to end up in 10th place overall and 2nd in the 45-49 AG, certainly wasn't expecting that when it was changed to a duathlon.

1st Run 28:09
Bike 2:30:59
2nd Run 1:06:59

Total Time 4:07:52

Big thanks to Castle Triathlon for another great event, and also to Secret Training for providing the fuel to get me round.

Onwards to the Cholmondeley Castle in 2 weeks time, hopefully with the swim this time.

Lough Cutra Gauntlet Preview

I thought I would just do a quick preview of the start of my challenge to compete all 5 Castle Triathlon Series Gauntlet events, oh and the Bastion in the middle of them.

The thought of it, especially the July period, does scare me a tad still. I really have no idea of how I will recover from a half ironman to compete at a full ironman 2 weeks later, and then do another half ironman 2 weeks after that, at least I will go into the 1st of the 5 at Lough Cutra in a fully fit and rested state and have a month to get fully recovered before the 2nd one.

I have had a great winter and spring build up, since starting being coached by Darren Jenkins, we have slowly built up my fitness to a level I have only ever reached when purely cycling. My winter fears of too slow a build up have been proven to be totally unwarranted, Darren has got me here in such an easy manner it is hard to believe how fit I appear to be on paper. Hardly any missed sessions, no illnesses, only one or two failed sessions, all in all the best ever winter/spring season I think I have ever had. Big thanks also need to go to Secret Training for supporting me with my nutritional needs, it has kept me fueled throughout my training and recovery.

Swimming has improved, running has improved, cycling has remained pretty solid so I would expect to have become a better triathlete, let's hope it translates to racing.

As to my thoughts about Lough Cutra, it is a wonderful event which this year is part of the Triathlon Ireland National Series so sees another increase in competitors in the Gauntlet, this is fantastic news as it can only draw in an even higher class of triathlete to compete against. The numbers have increased so much that there is now 2 starting waves, ideally I would have liked a single wave as as well as competing again my Age Group competitors, I do like to compete against the whole field from the start. Obviously the numbers mean there is no option of one start so my aim for the day is to race as hard as I can and just see where I end up, at least I get to watch the 1st wave go off and then relax for a little while for my wave to get going.

What am I expecting, well I am not sure to be honest, last year was a bit of a case of doing a decent swim and a great bike, but as my running had been crap leading up to the event the run was only ever going to be a decent training run. This year obviously things have been great, I am hoping the swim is faster, just need to get on some real good feet, the bike is unlikely to be faster but I hope to be at least around the same time as last year, I guess the wind direction will have the biggest impact. As for the run, now I aim to attack this with a bit of relish, I know what sort of pace I can do in a standalone HM now so the aim in reality is to try for this pace and see how long I can keep it up for.

I am really looking forward to Sunday, it's time to really get going this season and see how the winter has paid off. Let's get racing :)

First Blowout of the Year

A late start to the racing season for me this year, and it started with the local East Grinstead Triathlon a nice sprint triathlon to wake the body up from it's training slumber. This is a great local race and one where it really does have a relaxed feel about it.

To be honest you would have thought that with some of the training I had been doing that I would be primed for a sprint triathlon rather than the main focus of the year which is half ironman and ironman races. Time to put all that fast paced work into action I suppose.

The weeks leading up to the race were full on training weeks, first a nice week out in Spain with lots of volume, as well as the standard fair of intensity in nearly every session. After this I was slightly hoping for an easy week leading into the triathlon, unfortunately for me when looking at the training plan it was clear it was going to far from an easy week. It meant a hurried e-mail to Darren to ask was there any point in doing the triathlon, I just didn't see the point in doing a race and under performing due to fatigue. Darren had other ideas and just told me to race it as hard as I could and let's see what the outcome was, the focus is on my first half ironman in a few weeks time. Basically MTFU and just get on and do it.

The day before the race was a frantic affair as well, rear mech shifter on the TT bike decided to break and wouldn't stay in the lower gears. It meant a few bodges to the lever but I managed to do a temporary repair on it that was good enough to race with.

Race day, a lovely hot day in fact possibly a bit too hot but better that than the freezing cold and raining. I was off quite late in the elite wave so I had plenty of time to get myself sorted, cheer on quite a few teammates doing the race and just generally chill before my start.

Swim: As part of the elite wave we all start together, this gives you plenty of space in the pool and some quicker swimmers to match yourself up against. I was hoping for a sub 8 min 500m, not super fast but fast enough not to lose too much time. The swim goes well I keep well within myself and climb out in 7:59, a bit slower than ideal but a decent enough time, and 4th of the elite wave. Felt good running into and through transition.

Bike: First time racing with shoes already clipped into the pedals, no flying mount for me but a quick mount none the less. Found it quite easy getting my feet into the shoes and then we were off. I had come out just behind one guy, I went straight passed him within a few 100 metres and apparently was 3rd on the road of the elite starters. I would have liked to race by power but my Garmin had decided it didn't want to boot up in transition so it was a ride on feel type of race. Given my training load over the last few weeks it was probably better not to go via power as I didn't really have any clue of what I could sustain. It just meant a go as hard as you can for as long as you can and see what happens, it actually didn't feel too bad. About 6 miles in I caught up with the 2nd place elite, Paul Savage, knowing he was a much faster runner than me I just tried to make up as much time as possible on the bike. I did wonder where the first elite guy (James Amey) was, as although I was passing slower riders these were all from the general starters. I did get a few glimpses as I got near the end of the ride and arrived at T2 about 15 secs behind. A decent ride but nothing spectacular compared to my very best.

Run: This is where I felt I was going to feel the training fatigue, but just tried to go as hard as my legs could go. I didn't know how far Paul Savage was behind me, but I could just see James up the road in front of me. I tried to catch him but after the first lap he had pulled away slightly, but Paul hadn't caught me yet. With the shouts of a certain Charlie Pennington and all the girls from the Tri Spirit Team urging me on, I just tried to keep a similar pace, Paul eventually passed me just after we started the 2nd lap, I tried to latch on but by now the fatigue and the heat of the day was getting to me. As he slowly eased away I just tried to keep up my pace as I had no idea of how close the other guys were behind. The end result was a very close battle from 2nd through to 6th, with us all being within a minute of each other.

I finished 3rd in the elite wave, but as per normal you never truly know where you stand as some of the fast guys aren't part of the elite wave. This was the case for this years winner, Sam Begg, a superb time of 1:06:32 which was the class of the field. Another early starter ended up in 4th place so I finished 5th overall, but did manage to bag the V40 1st place prize with a 1:09:52. A bit of an unexpected bonus was the fastest bike split, still half decent on the bike I guess.

I was happy - honest

A bit surprised with the result if I am honest, Darren obviously knows what he is doing, and even in a fatigued state it was faster than last year and overall a much better performance from me. I do think about the 46 secs to 2nd place and what could have been in a fresher state, but as Darren says this event wasn't a focus for me so I have to be pleased. It was a great race overall and great to have a little running race at the end, even if I am still slow compared to some.

Next event is the Gauntlet at Lough Cutra on the 29th May, can't wait for it and I have been promised I will be tapered for it :)

Thanks to Darren for the coaching, Secret Training for the nutritional support, Go Resource for your continued support and the Tri Spirit Team for all the continued encouragement.

Winter Progress

As Spring arrives it is always good to see how the winter training has gone. In previous years I would be thinking about racing but this year I have decided on a later start date, in fact there are no triathlons until May. It is almost 3 months since starting with Darren Jenkins as my coach so always a good time to review that progress as well.

I guess that is a good place to start, I seemed to have gelled pretty well with Darren. Obviously I knew Darren already so that was always likely to not be a problem. We did have some issues which in all honesty was probably a lot more of my making than his, as I think my pride got in the way of me being objective. I mean no-one really likes to admit they have lost power on the bike, but for me I suppose it was always going to be inevitable, I just don't train as much on the bike as I used to and thinking my FTP hadn't gone down from it's heyday was a tad stupid on my part.

What this meant was sessions that Darren thought weren't that difficult eventually took a toll on me and I really started to suffer with actually completing them, I was starting to doubt if things were going to work. Luckily for me I have always been honest with a coach (no point in having a coach if you don't give good and honest feedback), and Darren obviously saw there was a problem. I always think it is a sign of a good coach if they take time out of their day to phone you up and discuss the issues, even more so when they are currently the other side of the world. This was really appreciated and it helped massively with the confidence I had placed in Darren and the confidence in myself, which I had seriously started to doubt.

As I said in my previous blog, training was a bit different to what I was used to but it actually didn't take long to get used to it. Apart from the wobble I had in one week I think it is probably the most consistent training I have done over the winter and this is really starting to show itself in terms of how I feel. Recovery has been good between sessions this last couple of weeks and the training has become enjoyable again. I did have a week out in Majorca which I had hoped would be a nice warm weather training camp with the family, I admit it was warmer than the UK, but warm it certainly wasn't especially when riding through the mountains. I suppose we did eventually get a couple of decent days where it wasn't raining or windy or cold, I don't think Heather was that impressed with the weather, I did sell the week to her as a chance to get some sun.

At the Top of Puig Major Looking Down on Soller

The training out in Majorca went pretty well, it gave me a chance to get some good bike time in as I felt this was the more worrying thing about my winter training. In all honesty it was a bit of a pointless worry, cycling 6+ hours in the mountains wasn't really a problem and although top end power might have dropped actual long duration bike fitness is still well and truly there.

Cap Formentor on a Rare Sunny Day

The running is going very well, and almost every run has some form of intensity in it. The most pleasing things is even with the extra intensity, it is done in such a way that I still felt pretty good after each session. It also makes the runs a bit more interesting as to be honest, for me running at x pace for x hours isn't the most stimulating so I enjoy the changes in pace and effort.

Swimming is still making progress, up until I started with Darren I was swimming with some masters swimmers for the majority of my sessions and this has made swimming really enjoyable and challenging. When I first started with Darren I switched entirely to his program and whilst the change in session structure was good, and a really new stimulus, I wasn't entirely happy. On 2 days of the weeks, trying to fit my sessions around 8 other people doing something completely different meant these sessions were disjointed and difficult to complete to the plan. I explained the issue with Darren and asked if joining in with them on these 2 days was a possibility. Darren being the good bloke he is agreed and now we work my other sessions around these 2 days. I personally think this is ideal as I really am tested in the session Darren sets, and then try and hang on others feet in the 2 other sessions. At least I get good practice at drafting.

Overall training has been pretty solid, I've put in some of the biggest training hours in January and February yet still feel half human LOL. Fitness is slowly rising and if I am honest I probably am fitter now than I was going into IM South Africa last year so given the later start of the year I hope to be able to build on that, avoid colds and illnesses and start racing both fitter and healthier than every before.

Getting All Motivated

Now 2016 has arrived one could start panicking about the season ahead, after all it isn’t that far away and it is easy to think that you still have a mountain to climb. I am sure we are all the same and I have similar doubts about how training has gone so far during the winter.

I started training properly for the 2016 season in November, but even this was pretty easy sessions just getting back into the regular ritual of training, it is only now after all the Christmas festivities are over we are getting down to the nitty gritty of harder training. It really is time to blow the cobwebs away and start doing the occasional above race effort intervals.

With my planned season ahead, doing all of the Castle Triathlon Series Gauntlet races and The Bastion it would be so easy to overdo things and in this vein I have decided to use a coach again. The guy I am using, Darren Jenkins, did exactly what I am doing this year and I thought what better person to understand the challenge of trying to do either a half ironman or a full ironman every 2 weeks in the middle of the year.

This has meant a pretty big change for me, in the past I have been a bit more of a volume athlete, though I have always done above race effort intervals even in the winter. Now the volume has been cut down a bit and some of the intervals are pretty hard, especially the running and swimming, I am having to come to terms with that reduced volume, it isn’t easy at times. Make no doubt the training is still hard and challenging, I just need to rethink of how much volume is really needed, especially when your first real target event is in July.

With regards to training, I am pretty sure everyone suffers from the motivation to train at times, we aren’t machines and at times getting yourself out of bed to do those early morning swims, or dragging yourself of the sofa to get out and do the second session of the day can be a real challenge. In times like this I think back to the Howard Castle Triathlon last year and the video that went viral of Bailey Matthews, who has cerebral palsy, completing his first triathlon. Here is a little lad who has a very hard challenging life, yet he doesn’t show it and gives everything 100%, what an inspiration. If you ever lack motivation, take a look at the video, it really does give you a different perspective about the difficulties of training. Over Christmas it was so heart-warming to see Bailey win the Helen Rollason Award at the BBC Sports Personality of the Year, very well deserved and he showed true personality and spirit that a lot of professional sports people seem to lack. I hope to be able to meet him during one of the Castle Triathlon Series races, it would be a real honour.

Talking of honours, I am really honoured to be asked to be an ambassador for the NSPCC for 2016, this will see me race all the Castle Triathlon Series races in NSPCC kit and try and raise as much money as I can for this wonderful cause. Again if we think we have it hard at times, think of those kids that always have it hard and know nothing other than suffering, they deserve all of our support, and I hope you will consider helping me raise as much as possible for them.

My first race of 2016 is likely to the be the East Grinstead Triathlon as a warm up for the first of my real challenges with the Lough Cutra Gauntlet at the end of May, and beautiful location for a stunning race in the West of Ireland. I’ve been assured that the water will be warm so why not think about doing this race, they offer a range of distances for every ability and the Castle Triathlon Series do put on a magical weekend of racing, plus you get cracking Guinness in Ireland, what’s not to like.

Keep training and keep motivated.